Thursday, October 14, 2010

Things are Trying...

..to return to normal. Although I'm not sure what one would call that in this environment.

The prison, in its effort to quell the continued uprisings of the particular gangs that perpetuated our last 2 riots, have put all into a modified type of segregation. Just yesterday we watched as the goon squad (not that I want to call the men and women who are basically here to protect those of us who are truly striving for change, that seemingly insulting phrase...but there you go...some parts of me are ingrained with the institutionalization that sets up house in its malicious effort to not rid me of all that is the bane of my existence in the rooms where CHRIST wants in to do the 360, and not the standard jailhouse 180 that has many contributing to the revolving door of retention. Okay you know about my digressing already so I won't ask for your patience...) the folks with the riot gear in tow...( see how quickly I learn!)...stormed over to our newly manufactured confinement...prison inside of prison...(look Ma aren't I the cat's meow) because the men in there were tearing apart the cells that were supplying them with the meagerness befitting their rebellion-- chomping off not only the hand, but gobbling up what little is left up to the shoulder.

Ripping off the sinks to cause flooding...they think anyway....shut-off valves obviously escaping (no pun) their understanding of how America builds and prepares itself for such childishness (1Corinthians 13:11). It is ingrained in our system of justice. Be it as flawed as one may think, we are the only sheriff this world has got to corral such demonized debauchery. And to think I am one decision away from landing in it with both feet firmly planted in that, or you name it, sin. CHRIST came for those men as well. So offer up those prayers my friends for the men and women who are entrenched in the very activities that are blinding the minds of the children of disobedience. Could be the next evangelist is bearing the brunt of change even as I write this in that cellblock where I'm certain the cacophony is ear-splitting and mind-boggling to comprehend...prison is loud as heck!

Lock up those locked up and they are given over to the proclivity to believe all has been stripped from them so the worst is being done...why not kick it up to the high gear of resistance? Soon though, the weaker of the sort...there's always that, will give in and either rat out those perpetuating (i.e.leaders) these atrocities, (a broken wooden broom was used to gouge out eyes during that last foray into prison rioting) or try to rid themselves of the moniker they got tattooed all over their bodies...'gee how do they know I'm in a gang?'  So much is going on around here that it is a constant to keep vigil of your religion less you start tearing it up in the same fashion. GOD grant me the serenity...as it goes for some.

On a more lighter note..if such occurrence were possible in this camp of miscreants...( I've been one it's true)...I was able to go to work and carry out a few regular details for the Safety Department from whence (I love using that word!) I work. Checking on the fire extinguishers we got on this compound...168 of 'em (I know because I was able to develop a program to check them all once a month). Anyway I was walking around...quite the privilege at this juncture I might add...doing my thing when all of a sudden I looked up to the "hills from whence (two times in one blog...gotta love it) cometh my help"and the trees are in grand splender exposing GOD'S palette from...(I can't do the threepeat)...where artists over eons have tried failingly to emulate HIS broad strokes of color never quite getting it the shade or hue that would positively identify it with HIS signature. But giving their all as some could say gazing upon Monet's "Waterlilies"...I'm guessing that it was he..surely I know Warhol's Campbell's's soup can though so give a convict some credit. After the grandeur of the Fall foliage, I was contemplating the great scheme of things, sure now I want to think on my actions and where they may take me...I was overwhelmed with the emotional impact that perhaps GOD will keep me here to witness. With a little over 13 years left I was kinda hoping for HIM to get me freed up a bit ahead of time..by say 13 years, three months, and sixteen days worth... (but who's counting?)

I got a friend recently released who is struggling because he has started to engage in sex outside of marriage. I know this trap all too well. The spirit of harlotry inundates our society at large, and it is just the ticket used to trip up many a strong man in CHRIST. The old saying of "liquor, ladies, and lucre" comes straight from 1 John 2. I will attest that it is a man's stubbornness in recognizing fornication as the numero uno lead in to these other vices that put more work in then an anvil in a steel shop.

Do I want out of prison? You betcha! Does GOD want me here as a light in such dark confines? Sometimes I pray it isn't so. But in the casting of our crowns at HIS feet one GLORIOUS day, if I could have a few convicted felons along for the ride...perhaps one of whom was converted on the last of my remaining sentence, then as the CHRISTian rock group that sports the name, leave me here LORD for "Who am I" to determine where it is best fitting for me to serve but YOU. All my glory, all my honor, all my praise to you JESUS for you love me ...the Bible tells me so...and how awesome is that?

...later..dougie boy

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

You know...I always thought that stuff in the movies was taking a dramatic license. I had no idea they really tried those things in prison. Fights, yes. Ripping off sinks to cause flooding??? Who would have thought anyone would actually think that would work and try it?

Your last paragraph was very touching. I've been reading a lot of short stories lately about "blooming where you are planted". God has you where you are for HIS purposes. What a blessing it will be to you if you do get to bring many more to Christ through your unique perspective.

Thank you for sharing your life with us!

~Tara

Anonymous said...

Your blog is unique, as well as the struggles you face daily trying to lead a God honoring life in a place that so many believe God has forsaken. I sometimes worry about showing God's love to unsaved friends. Talk about perspective change. I will continue to pray that God will use this time in your life for His goodness and glory. God bless.

Anonymous said...

I've never known much about prison life, I'd been told that they practically lived in luxury, with TV and work out equipment and such paid for by us hard-working tax payers. Your writing gives an inside view of the harsh realities. Thank you for opening my eyes.

God's ways are not our ways, and in your case, it would indeed be hard to accept. I think of what Paul said: for me to die is gain, but to remain is more beneficial for you.

Praying God continues to bless your ministry.