I can't PRAISE HIM enough!

It's true! HE has given me this incredible opportunity here in prison to do the one thing I won't be able to do in heaven...witness!

True faith is having confidence in what HE has done for you. Often we will wallow about thinking..."But I find it hard to believe that a troubled, failing CHRISTian like me could be precious to GOD. HE has to be disgusted with me because my life is so up-and-down. I've got problems I can't seem to get through. I believe HE still loves me, but surely HE is disappointed in me." What is GOD'S  motivation for wanting to deliver you from whatever ails thee? (Sorry sometimes I get all King Jamesy!) Is it because you have done something to appease HIM? Have you increased your prayer time? Do you spend more hours reading Scripture? All this is good. But Isaiah had the TRUE revelation: "since thou wast precious in MY sight, thou hast been honorable, and I have loved thee...fear not..for I am with thee."

Yesterday I missed a medical "call-out" because I lost a bit of focus on the routine of this incarcerated life because of the recent riot. One man did die that we know of so far. His nickname was "Sleepy"...and as I witnessed to him over these years he seemed opened to what the WORD had to say, but the la vida loca that drew him in was too strong an influence...and it cost him his life. At least that is the info I have gottten so far as to the fall-out of that horrid event. I digress to pay homage to those trapped in that gangland garbage. I just hate it with a perfect hatred carved out of losing a friend to whom had a chance if perhaps given one more day... Tell someone today about JESUS will you? You may be the last ditch effort by GOD to reel them in...after all how did you find out about CHRIST?  It wasn't from the crib that's for sure. Someone told you!

Okay now back to the missed call-out from medical...around here there are 1800 men to deal with, so when they schedule you for medical or dental, you want to get there! But I was distracted since the riot and the moving to a new unit, and lost focus on the daily ritual of checking the sheet that has the call-outs. This is by far no excuse to the hierarchy here in prison management, so I got what is called "written up". Been in prison for 13 years of my life, and barring defending myself physically I have never had a write-up. (Oh sure now I want to abide by the rules! Where did we get this guy?) Anyhow I had to go to the Lt's office to get served. Take into consideration that many see you walking that dreaded lone stretch to the "bench" where you sit and wait for the Lt. to come at his whim to handle you up. Many chortles and cahoots followed to see the "preacher man" getting his due. Oh the stones! Still though I was undeterred because I serve a MIGHTY GOD from whence (gotta love that word!) the Lt. gets his empowerment.

So I sat there and the wind was kicking off the mountain side, biting and howling as I watched 2 others show up to answer with an excuse riddled alibi in order to stave off the always inevitable commissary restriction/ phone loss/ e-mail-ban. (oh no!) that comes from the bench participants--even loss of "good time"--the worse by far punishment for us aching to get out as soon as possible...and that'd be everybody. These guys plopped down to exhaling of breath and posture defeat even before speaking up to say what they were here for. Radios is what they had in their possession that did not have their prison number on them...what are you kidding me?...a black market in here? get outta town! No it's true...men lose in gambling (again in here?) and instead of losing something far more valuable...use your imagination...they give of personal possessions in order to keep their more personal possessions. So guys buy these already engraved things with another's number and end up inevitably getting caught...some just can't get enough of that...I was one likened unto this behavior, 'tis why I have a pocket full of stones.

I go off into my "old school" advice...it's free and these men are 23 and 25 years of age, so they partly are attentive. In here you must give sway to those of us that have done enough time to saddle up to Big Ben and give him a run for his money. I tell them to be truthful...tell the ugly truth instead of that already manufactured beautiful lie that you are in no way gonna get by with. At first they were in the bucking mode as if the rodeo was right up their alley, but soon as I discoursed on what could happen to them further (not farther...as it were in increment of severity), if they were to get nabbed (pun all day for sure) for lying as well the contraband radio. I also let them know that I could aid in their up-coming radio-free days (not to be confused with the Woody Allen story) with an extra of my own which I keep for times such as these. Then I asked them to join me in a little prayer to move things in a GODLY fashion...amazing how receptive folks are when in the straits that dire allows free reign. Then the Lt. finally got with us one at a time, letting both of my bench buddies go with radio in hand (a first I tell ya that I've seen) and then a brief encounter with me.

As I didn't feign any ignorance...just told him I'm guilty...he was left with nothing to question me on. Off I went...still write-up free...ain't GOD cool...

later...dougie boy